A Letter to My Postpartum Self

Written after my first, before my second child. (SO MUCH truth here!)

Photo credit: Jennifer Halla Photography

Dear Lisa,

You are halfway through the challenge…

You were here before, and you came out the other side of it even better than you were before.

You can do it again. And you will.

The next 3 months will be physically rough. Though sometimes it will seem like it will last forever… it won’t. A year and a half from now (maybe less) these days will be a distant memory. Your body will be yours again, you’ll be sleeping well most nights, and you’ll be in a position to help other women through their journey BECAUSE you’ve conquered yours.

But for now, be patient.

Be graceful with yourself and calm with the beautiful souls you’ve given birth to. You have nothing to prove to others, no one else to compete with, and a lot of years ahead to be “productive” and “successful”.

For now, just BE.

Be proud as your baby accepts nourishment to survive from YOUR body. Be fulfilled helping Kendra grow through a major life transition as a big sister. Be grateful that you’ve been able to have the family you wanted, when you wanted it. (Many don’t have that blessing.)

And find humor in the messiness, the chaos, and the exhaustion. It really IS the best medicine for you and Sean.

Don’t push it.

You tried last time and it did negative amounts of good. It’s better to experience a gradual, linear journey of healing than tumultuous cycles of ups and downs. You will be healthy, vital, and fit again soon enough. For now, rest and heal for your own well-being and that of your family who depends on you.

Don’t forget! Your hormones have a magnificent amount of power. As much as you hate to accept it, you’ll be far better off if you do just accept it. Stop the fight. YOU eat well, make smart health choices, and they’ll do what they do.

You’ll sweat. You’ll bleed. You’ll cry. You’ll feel disconnected at times from the REAL you. And that’s all okay. The depth of joy and fulfillment you’ve brought into your life will ultimately win for years to come. This is a moment. THAT will be forever. Nothing great comes without sacrifice, this you know.

There will be moments, (maybe even days), that you will feel isolated… from the world, from your life, maybe even from your own family members. In those moments, don’t suffer in silence.

Reach out.

Reach out to the people you want most in that moment, instead of sadly hoping they’ll reach out to you. Reach out to your coaches to get clarity and/or support. Reach out to a postpartum doula for some functional help. This is a time for joy and togetherness. Silent reflection is great, but don’t be lonely.

Once you have your feet under you, you will create this time instead of just consume. Document your thoughts, feelings, experiences, and insights. It will be healing for you in the moment and a gift for others someday.

Keep a notebook and good podcasts close by, and make this time be the time you never get when you’re in non-maternity season. You have earned the gift of time with your littles. Cherish it and create from it.

When the time comes to re-enter life with work, trust yourself.

Use your grounding tools often to combat the all-consuming anxiety that loves to mess with you. You will figure it out. You always have. You will find a “new normal” - time guarantees it.

Set reasonable goals for Q1 & Q2 so you are set up for success. Don’t underestimate the toll your precious family responsibilities will take on your body, your schedule, and your energy.

The work will be there. The success will be there. Someday you’ll have more time than you need or want for both. But not today. Today you have more important, once in a lifetime opportunities to tend to. Sieze today. Love today. Be grateful for right now.

Lastly, remember to always look inside instead of outside when the going is tough. There are so many temptations, so much magnetism to mirror other people’s joy, status, accomplishments, experiences… But that’s their story, and they have struggles too. If you truly want something for yourself, go get it. But don’t just do it because THEY did.

You are you.

You are an exceptional mom of two beautiful children. You are a cherished wife. You are an accomplished business woman. You’ve already experienced more than most people do in a lifetime. You are enough - maybe even more.

You have amazing dreams still to be lived, and you will thrive. But right now you are fragile, you are transitioning, and you need to survive.

So, breathe.

Kiss your children with every ounce of love you have to give, and know that this too, is just part of the tapestry you were meant to weave with this life you’ve been given, and are now sharing with your new precious miracle.

With much grace and love,
Your higher self